QUARTER LIFE CRISIS

Forget about mid life crisis.
The quarter life crisis is the real thing and  I seem to be having it since the last year and a half, if not more.

The quarter life crisis it's a period of change, somewhere in your mid twenties, when you have a bit of a flap over where your life is at, where it's going and wtf are you going to do within the next years.
You feel disconnected from life and insicure about what steps to take next. You aren't sure what comes next, everything seems so overwhelming and pressure begins to hit you if you think at all the things you are supposed to do by 30. CRISIS.

Yesterday I turned 26. At this age my parents had already 2 kids and a house. CRISIS.
Our lives as a twenty something in this day and age is changing from the way our parents experienced it and I don't know if any other generation realises this. I feel like the majority of us is flitting between minimum wage jobs, trying to travel and having babies and a house. What a crazy roller coaster this age is!

You come out of school and realize it didn't prepare you in any way for life and all the problems it involves.
You still feel a teenager from some points of view but you start realising that people actually have expectations from you because you are not so young anymore.
I look around me and realize I'm not the youngest person in the room anymore. People at work, friends, parents, my partner...all of them expect more from me. I have responsabilities to take care of and cannot procrastinate with the hope that someone else is gonna do it all for me.
It's a weird transitional period from teen age to adulthood in which you have to sow the bases of your life, of who you want to be and what you want to achieve.
But nobody told us how hella difficult this was going to be.

When I was younger I always thought I would have time to do a lot of things...One day I will travel the world, one day I will get my dream job, one day I will do a new experience and take all the opportunities in life. Well my friends, let me tell you: those days have come and gone and I'm literally sitting here, wondering where the hell the past years have gone!
Time really flies and before I know it I will be 30. CRISIS.

This "in between" period let me feel lost, disconnected and confused about my life.
I don't know where I want to live, what career path I want to take etc..or, if I seem to know it, I don't know what steps to take to achieve all these things. I'm constantly doubting all my choices and feel scared about what my life is going to be like.
It's an age where I really feel that IT'S JUST ME, MYSELF AND I.
I am the only one in charge for my life and my success.

One really big difference I started to notice is that I've started to think long-term: where am I gonna be in 5 years? What I want to achieve by the age of 30? Those kind of thoughts never really bothered me before because I didn't feel any responsability pending on my shoulders. But now I do. And not only for myself but for all the people who surround me, especially my boyfriend, which of course is involved in all the decisions I have to take, since we are living together. I have to think twice before I act because I am responsible for all the decisions I make and the consequences they lead to.

I see clearly two roads in front of me: a life of comfort and a life of risk. And I'm not sure I have the right  directions to go down either one. I would pay million dollars for a moment of clarity. I swear.
Sometimes I just think that being an adult is mainly just googling "how to do" stuff. Like, really.

Everything seems so debilitating: making a budget for something, buying groceries, doing dishes, cooking dinner, looking for a job, paying the bills, respecting deadlines, call you mum back, booking that medical examination you are putting off for months...DE-BI-LI-TA-TING.

I have no idea where to go for answers. Or even, how to find the right questions.

I can only hope that one day I will be where I am meant to be.
I'm sure we all have great things settled for us if we just learn to take chances, work our ass off and don't give up on our dreams.
Don't let circumstances and people discourage you.
They say "if it scares you, it might be a good thing to try".
Don't panic, we are all in the same boat my friends and eventually, we will figure things out one day.


Big hugs from a 26 year old girl in full crisis.